Oh my gosh I lost my cool this morning. I'm so fed up with our 13 year old girl and 11 year old boy. Maybe it's developmental stages, maybe it's me and I'm hormonal. Maybe it's birth order, or placement in their family of birth versus our family now. Whatever it is... it's pissing me off!
These are smart kids. Smart. All A's and B's smart. Coming home with mid-term report cards showing D's. Why? Because they aren't turning in their homework. That's it. Missing homeworks. Really? Seriously?
Then there's the behavioral issues. Telling me they've done their chores but in reality, only doing a half-ass job. Hitting their younger siblings. This isn't once or twice a week. It's EVERY DAY, MULTIPLE OCCASIONS. I'm ready to snap. I already have four younger ones who do this. I expect it from them, not from the older ones.
I don't think we give them too much to do. They have a few chores, and are expected to do them well. If your chore is to empty all small garbage cans in the house into the kitchen garbage, and then take that bag outside, should I have to go around and check to see if they were all done? Should I see crap left all over the floor around the garbage cans? Should I be grateful it was done as well as it was, and that I didn't have to do it? Am I being too picky? AM I????
If your job is cleaning out the cat litter, and both parents have shown you multiple times how to clean it out, should I still see cat shit in there right after you supposedly did it?? SHOULD I???
If you've left sandwiches in your backpack, which indicates you're only eating your snacks at school, and I tell you that you can have english muffins or bagels for breakfast so that you're not eating just sugar all day, should I find out you've been eating freakin Cocoa Puffs instead?
Am I being too controlling? Should I let it go and pretend I don't notice? If I make too much of a fuss will I turn them into even more rebellious little freaks? Am I expecting them to be mature too quickly, because I already deal with these behaviors from the younger ones? Am I overwhelmed because of the size of the family, coupled with the fact that I like things to be orderly and clean? I need help to keep the order, but they just buck the system.
By age 12, I was making dinner, washing up after dinner and doing laundry. Not everyday, but when it was needed. Shouldn't I be able to count on them for anything at this age?
Ugh.
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3 comments:
Pam, take it from me who has been there and done that. Do not sweat the small stuff. Bigger children comes bigger problems. Enjoy them. Take time to slow down. Everything in order is your stuff not their stuff. Post some pictures of the darlings soon. I have not seen them in seven years. Do you remember Kris? I am still in contact with her:)
I agree Pat. Now that I've had time to calm down. My mind is in a bit of a rut right now. I have negative thoughts that are triggering negative emotions (like in REBT). I"m trying to change where my thoughts go. It's just hard right now when I'm used to feeling bitterness.
In my heart, I want to have fun. To do fun things, play games, enjoy the time. And I do that with the four little ones a lot. It's the older ones I struggle with. There attitudes suck and unfortunately, I react to eye rolls when I should just let it go.
And yes! I'm friends with Kris on FB! Love her.
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